


Onion Guy

by Amarenthina



Series: The Restaurant AU [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarenthina/pseuds/Amarenthina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The weirdest thing that had ever happened at work, that he had witnessed, was what they now referred to fondly as “onion guy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Onion Guy

**Author's Note:**

> This actually happened at my work. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. 
> 
> Also, apparently this is a series now. Yay! Stay tuned, I have more weird work adventures to share.

Alexander was sure that every workplace had stories of strange customers, and his workplace was no different. The weirdest thing that had ever happened at work, that he had witnessed, was what they now referred to fondly as “onion guy”. 

It started out normally enough. They were at work on a Saturday night, it was reasonably busy, everyone was just taking care of their tables. Alexander was bringing a pile of dishes into the kitchen when John stopped him. 

“Alexander!” He cried. “You’re never going to believe this!” 

“What?”

“This guy at table twenty-three just asked for an onion.” 

“An onion?” 

“Yes!” John said. “Like, he wants an entire raw onion!”

“What?” Alexander started laughing. “A raw onion?” 

“That’s what he said!” 

Alexander lost it, leaning forward onto a countertop and cracking up, safely hidden from the customer’s sight. “What the hell does he want an onion for?” 

“I think he wants to eat it!” John said. 

This sent another wave of laughter over him. “What are you going to do?” 

“Bring him an onion, I guess.” John said. “What the fuck.”

John shook his head and went the other way to get to the computer at the bar, and Alexander went to drop off the dishes before joining him. 

He was standing there, the table open on the computer, staring at the screen. 

“How do I punch it in?” He asked. 

Alexander started giggling again. “I don’t know.” He said. “Just do a miscellaneous item”

“But that’s a two dollar charge. Onion’s don’t cost two dollars, do they?” 

“I have no idea.” Alexander said. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t eat raw onions.”

Lafayette came around the corner, setting down a pitcher of water, and asked what they were laughing at. 

“This guy asked John for a raw onion!” Alexander told him. 

“What?” Lafayette asked. 

“How do I punch it in, though?” John asked again. 

“What, like, just a raw onion?” Lafayette repeated. 

“Yes!” 

“Is he the prime minister of Australia?” Lafayette asked. 

“What? No! What are you talking about?” 

“Okay, whatever. I’m just going to do miscellaneous.” John said. “The guy’s probably wondering what’s taking so long.”

He closed the table and headed off into the kitchen to get the onion. Alexander wanted to follow him, but he actually did have a table that he should be checking on. He brought a tray over and took their appetizer plates, and as he walked past John’s table, he saw John putting on his best polite face and handing the guy an onion on a plate. As he walked past, he saw that the guy was asking John something else. 

Alexander put the plates away in the kitchen and then went back out. He ran into John, getting salt and pepper shakers. “Alexander, the guy wanted salt and pepper for his onion.” 

Alexander started laughing again. “This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened.”

John dropped off the salt and pepper, and aside from actually eating his raw onion, the guy didn’t do anything else weird. They all had a good laugh about it and went back to waiting their tables. 

Table twenty three didn’t leave until late in the night, when Alexander didn’t have any tables anymore. He grabbed a tray to start clearing it, and John joined him with the garbage can. 

Alexander started stacking plates on the tray, and saw that the little plate with the onion was still there. The onion was actually mostly eaten, but it looked like-

“Oh my god, he put the green sauce on it?” John asked, staring down at the plate. 

“That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.” Alexander said. He picked up the plate and put it on the tray. “The green sauce is just vinegar and green peppers. He literally ate a raw onion with vinegar and pepper on it.” 

“Go show it to Lafayette and Hercules.” John said. “That’s so weird.” 

Alexander lifted the tray and carried it into the back. Lafayette was putting dirty glasses away from one of his own tables, so Alexander showed him. “Look at this. Hercules, come see this! The guy ate a raw onion with vinegar on it.” 

“He put vinegar on it?” Hercules asked, wrinkling his nose. “That’s disgusting.” 

“I know!” Alexander said. “I can’t believe he actually ate it. I don’t understand.” 

“Why would he do that?” Lafayette asked. “Who does that? It’s so weird.” 

“I know!” Alexander said. He shook his head and dumped the remaining bits of onion into the garbage. “People are weird, man.”


End file.
